Found this on the paper edition of The Hater in The Onion’s A.V. Club

One of the things on a list of “thoroughly ridiculous, obscenely expensive gifts to keep normal people enraged and millionaires entertained will Neinman Marcus offer next year? Here are a few ideas:”

Monkey Twin — $250,000
Everyone knows monkeys are adorable, but how much more adorable would they be if they looked exactly like you, while also still being monkeys? There’s a scientist in Columbia who will engineer a rhesus monkey with your face—or the face of a loved one—for $250,000. The perfect gift for the kid who has everything. When your child asks, “Daddy, I want a pony,” you can answer, “Well, how about a monkey with your face instead?” You’re welcome.