There are 2 Versions – Read Both
TRADITIONAL VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
Here’s a story about a guy who attempted to visit all Starbucks stores in Manhattan in 24 hours.
Turns out, there are 176 stores in Manhattan, but a few of those, like the one in J.P. Morgan’s headquarters, are off limits to the public. So Malkoff, a comedian who works as the audience coordinator at The Colbert Report, set out to hit all the stores he could—171 of them—in 24 hours, saving his $369.14 in receipts to prove it.
And here’s the play-by-play diary of his adventures.
This blog has some more details and a video of feat. This guy writes, “What’s amazing about this, is not that someone was crazy enough to try such a feat – but the fact there are actually 171 Starbucks outlets packed into 23 square miles.”
So I used to like Keith Olbermann. I thought he was funny but also fair in his analysis of news. Lately, though, he has neither been funny nor fair. Here is an example:
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I can’t remember where I saw this advertisement, but it was for the LowerMyBills.com place where they offer a “deal” on a refinanced mortgage. (This is probably legitimate, but I would not even consider this place for a mortgage based on this ad.)
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Here’s a spam email that I just received:
Hi,
I see you are expressed interest in my item by bidding, i want to tell you that i have for sale, the winner of my auction didn’t respond to my emails. To purchase my item please reply me with the best offer for this item.
P.S. If you are interested i will wait your reply asap.
Thank you!
Wow! I would have thought this guy was an idiot even if it wasn’t marked as spam. It might have sounded better to type it in his own language and then use one of the free online translation services. However, the more likely thing is that he lacks the education to even know how horrible his grammar is. If I was trying to convince people to buy into my scam, I at least would have taken the time to make the email appear professional.
I’ll admit that the NASCAR drivers are talented. Not athletically gifted as other professional athletes, but they still must be talented since there is so little difference among the cars yet some people are always near the top. I’m sure attending the Daytona 500 would be exciting. However, I wasn’t even aware that the Daytona 500 was going on until I turned on SportsCenter and heard about the winner and the winning team. Anyway, I read an article entitled, “Daytona: There’s nothing better … nothing.” It’s completely real and not written in jest. It almost reads like an article from The Onion!
The Daytona 500 is my favorite sports event of the year. It’s better than the Super Bowl, better than the World Series, and better than any seven-game series in the NHL or NBA.
I like it better than those because the winner gets to be just as elated as the champion of those other events … and then the season keeps going. Beginnings are always better than endings.
The Daytona 500 is my favorite sports event of the year because the happiest I have ever seen anybody in my entire life was Dale Earnhardt Jr. in the moments after he won in 2004. He jumped out of his car and into the arms of his crew, which had stormed to him from pit road. The look on his face of elation and the exuberant way he hugged the neck of the first man who got to him represent unbridled joy. Someone will get to feel that way today.“You do anything in the world just to get in the Daytona 500,” Junior says. “It’s an incredible feeling. There’s no way to describe it. It’s impossible to answer the question on what it’s like to win the Daytona 500.”
The Daytona 500 is my favorite sports event of the year because I could go to every single one and still learn something new about racing at the next one.
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jerryleecooper, that is. Mr. Cooper is a frequent poster and proponent of Microsoft Vista on the ZDNet forums. He has quite a cult following for his often hilarious comments regarding Linux. I’ll be posting some of these ZDNet forum comments below. They for personal, noncommercial use and are used with permission from CNET Networks, Inc., Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
Other jerryleecooper sites: The Return of JerryLeeCooper, JerryLeeCooper Fan Site
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On the topic of “Why Linux will not displace Windows”
that wont work without THEFT of intellectual property
Linux looks very interesting, even if some of the screen colours and menu options appear to be a little out of the ordinary.
But you are missing a vital point, a point which takes some experience and depth of knowledge in the field of computers. You see, when a computer boots up, it needs to load various drivers and then load various services. This happens long before the operating system and other applications are available.
Linux is a marvellous operating system in its own right, and even comes in several different flavours. However, as good as these flavours are, they first need Microsoft Windows to load the services prior to use.
In Linux, the open office might be the default for editing your wordfiles, and you might prefer ubuntu brown over the grassy knoll of the windows desktop, but mark my words young man – without the windows drivers sitting below the visible surface, allowing the linus to talk to the hardware, it is without worth.
And so, by choosing your linux as an alternative to windows on the desktop, you still need a windows licence to run this operating system through the windows drivers to talk to the hardware. Linux is only a code, it cannot perform the low level function.
My point being, young man, that unless you intend to pirate and steal the Windows drivers and services, how is using the linux going to save money ? Well ? It seems that no linux fan can ever provide a straight answer to that question !
May as well just stay legal, run the Windows drivers, and run Office on the desktop instead of the linus.
^^^^^^^^^^^
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Dying to Lose In Vegas: The $3 Blackjack Death March
An hilarious story about a reporter trying to lose $100 at a blackjack table in Vegas.
I have finally decided to take the plunge. Last night I upgraded my Vista desktop machine to Windows XP, and this afternoon I will be doing the same to my laptop.
Follow the link to read more of the very funny satirical review of the latest Microsoft Windows operating system, Windows XP.