So I used to like Keith Olbermann. I thought he was funny but also fair in his analysis of news. Lately, though, he has neither been funny nor fair. Here is an example:
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I can’t remember where I saw this advertisement, but it was for the LowerMyBills.com place where they offer a “deal” on a refinanced mortgage. (This is probably legitimate, but I would not even consider this place for a mortgage based on this ad.)
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Here’s a spam email that I just received:
Hi,
I see you are expressed interest in my item by bidding, i want to tell you that i have for sale, the winner of my auction didn’t respond to my emails. To purchase my item please reply me with the best offer for this item.
P.S. If you are interested i will wait your reply asap.
Thank you!
Wow! I would have thought this guy was an idiot even if it wasn’t marked as spam. It might have sounded better to type it in his own language and then use one of the free online translation services. However, the more likely thing is that he lacks the education to even know how horrible his grammar is. If I was trying to convince people to buy into my scam, I at least would have taken the time to make the email appear professional.
I’ll admit that the NASCAR drivers are talented. Not athletically gifted as other professional athletes, but they still must be talented since there is so little difference among the cars yet some people are always near the top. I’m sure attending the Daytona 500 would be exciting. However, I wasn’t even aware that the Daytona 500 was going on until I turned on SportsCenter and heard about the winner and the winning team. Anyway, I read an article entitled, “Daytona: There’s nothing better … nothing.” It’s completely real and not written in jest. It almost reads like an article from The Onion!
The Daytona 500 is my favorite sports event of the year. It’s better than the Super Bowl, better than the World Series, and better than any seven-game series in the NHL or NBA.
I like it better than those because the winner gets to be just as elated as the champion of those other events … and then the season keeps going. Beginnings are always better than endings.
The Daytona 500 is my favorite sports event of the year because the happiest I have ever seen anybody in my entire life was Dale Earnhardt Jr. in the moments after he won in 2004. He jumped out of his car and into the arms of his crew, which had stormed to him from pit road. The look on his face of elation and the exuberant way he hugged the neck of the first man who got to him represent unbridled joy. Someone will get to feel that way today.“You do anything in the world just to get in the Daytona 500,” Junior says. “It’s an incredible feeling. There’s no way to describe it. It’s impossible to answer the question on what it’s like to win the Daytona 500.”
The Daytona 500 is my favorite sports event of the year because I could go to every single one and still learn something new about racing at the next one.
jerryleecooper, that is. Mr. Cooper is a frequent poster and proponent of Microsoft Vista on the ZDNet forums. He has quite a cult following for his often hilarious comments regarding Linux. I’ll be posting some of these ZDNet forum comments below. They for personal, noncommercial use and are used with permission from CNET Networks, Inc., Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
Other jerryleecooper sites: The Return of JerryLeeCooper, JerryLeeCooper Fan Site
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On the topic of “Why Linux will not displace Windows”
that wont work without THEFT of intellectual property
Linux looks very interesting, even if some of the screen colours and menu options appear to be a little out of the ordinary.
But you are missing a vital point, a point which takes some experience and depth of knowledge in the field of computers. You see, when a computer boots up, it needs to load various drivers and then load various services. This happens long before the operating system and other applications are available.
Linux is a marvellous operating system in its own right, and even comes in several different flavours. However, as good as these flavours are, they first need Microsoft Windows to load the services prior to use.
In Linux, the open office might be the default for editing your wordfiles, and you might prefer ubuntu brown over the grassy knoll of the windows desktop, but mark my words young man - without the windows drivers sitting below the visible surface, allowing the linus to talk to the hardware, it is without worth.
And so, by choosing your linux as an alternative to windows on the desktop, you still need a windows licence to run this operating system through the windows drivers to talk to the hardware. Linux is only a code, it cannot perform the low level function.
My point being, young man, that unless you intend to pirate and steal the Windows drivers and services, how is using the linux going to save money ? Well ? It seems that no linux fan can ever provide a straight answer to that question !
May as well just stay legal, run the Windows drivers, and run Office on the desktop instead of the linus.
^^^^^^^^^^^
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Dying to Lose In Vegas: The $3 Blackjack Death March
An hilarious story about a reporter trying to lose $100 at a blackjack table in Vegas.
I have finally decided to take the plunge. Last night I upgraded my Vista desktop machine to Windows XP, and this afternoon I will be doing the same to my laptop.
Follow the link to read more of the very funny satirical review of the latest Microsoft Windows operating system, Windows XP.
Found this on the paper edition of The Hater in The Onion’s A.V. Club
One of the things on a list of “thoroughly ridiculous, obscenely expensive gifts to keep normal people enraged and millionaires entertained will Neinman Marcus offer next year? Here are a few ideas:”
Monkey Twin — $250,000
Everyone knows monkeys are adorable, but how much more adorable would they be if they looked exactly like you, while also still being monkeys? There’s a scientist in Columbia who will engineer a rhesus monkey with your face—or the face of a loved one—for $250,000. The perfect gift for the kid who has everything. When your child asks, “Daddy, I want a pony,” you can answer, “Well, how about a monkey with your face instead?” You’re welcome.
I’ve been trying to get to the gym about every other day. It’s tough because I’ve been super busy with school. I’m a member of the WAC (Wisconsin Athletic Club) in Wauwatosa. For close to the first year I went in and just did my own workout. I get quite a bit of cardiovascular work through biking, tennis, skiing, etc. so tend not to run indoors on the treadmills. My workouts are, therefore, mostly just weightlifting. I would tend to do the same workout each time and slowly try to increase the weights. I didn’t have any strategy for working certain muscle groups. This past summer I remembered that new members get a free personal training session (a series of three). I had some free time this summer so I took up that offer. In the first session we just quickly discussed my current program and what I wanted to accomplish. The next time I came in he had a workout planned and we just had to go around and get a general idea of my 1-2 rep max on each lift. He then gave me a printout from a spreadsheet that calculated what I should lift for 70-90% exertions. I’ve been slowly moving up in weight (soon I might put up my workout on a Google Spreadsheet type thing). I’ve been doing 2 sets at about 12 reps. I definitely feel that this workout is much more beneficial for me than the one that I had been doing previously. I’ve already seen and feel much improvement. One of the things that I was particularly doing wrong was fatiguing my smaller muscle groups before working my larger groups. The problem with this is that the larger muscle groups rely on the smaller groups for balance and proprioception.
Anyway, in order to get the most benefit from my lifting and to help my body recover, I bought ON Gold Standard, 100% Natural Whey from Amazon. There’s a pretty funny review of a similar product on Amazon.
People often say in reviews of protein powders and other health and fitness dietary products that the product is delicious. I try it and am underwhelmed. The people who rave over protein powder are clearly unaquainted with good food (that’s what comes of living on egg whites and skinless chicken breasts), or they’re comparing it to some of the really horrible stuff out there. The best I can say about the flavor of any of these products is that it’s uninteresting. So let me say that the flavor of this whey protein is uninteresting. It certainly isn’t bad. It could certainly be made better by the addition of ice cream, but that sort of seems opposed to the spirit of drinking protein powder.
I’m sold on this stuff because it passes the kid test. My kids like it. Like most kids, they aren’t into interesting flavors, and they aren’t into eating the delicious and nourishing food we put in front of them every night. Also like most kids, they like chocolate. The double rich chocolate version is convincingly chocolatey to anyone who doesn’t know better (like my kids). I put this powder in a Nestle’s Quick can and tell them it’s chocolate milk (note: I don’t actually lie and say that it’s Nestle’s Quick, but my equivocation puts me on shakey moral ground and I’m sure I’ll someday pay for it), and they’re quite happy with it. I, alas, am something of a chocolate connoisseur and can’t be so easily fooled as my kids, but still I find the flavor entirely okay. I suspect that when my children first taste real Nestle’s Quick at a friend’s house, they’ll wonder what Dad’s been feeding them and there will have to be some sort of a reckoning, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, they’re getting a pretty decent protein supplement to make up for the meat and fish that they won’t eat at dinner.
Pretty funny… I’m not so sure about using this stuff for his kid’s chocolate milk, though. Sure, it might be healthy, but it is expensive compared to existing chocolate milk mixes.
